Really fucking smoldering hot here, whew. YOU BEAST YOU. I really love Winry's resurfacing fierceness when she confronts Edward about his dirty talking. I'm going to suggest that, while her glittering eyes look amazing--that since the light in the room is a golden yellow, that the highlights in her eyes would be as well, to meld with the atmosphere of her work station. Again, get some more practice drawing mouths and tongues, and kissing, still awkward here. Also, the blood red color for tongues is too dark? I'd go for a more natural, pinkish tongue color. Watch your anatomy in the bottom right panel--Edward's arm looks like its bent mid-forearm. Eye-through-the-hair thing is awkward here, too.
Lol, I know I'm weighing the critique on here thick with these comments, but I hope they aren't putting you out xD It's a labor of love on my part, so I hope if anything they wind up helping you out in the end.
Oh, no, I said you in your first comment on the cover page, I really appreciate when some one takes the time to leave constructive criticism, it helps me a lot to check details I may have missed (or noticed too late to correct), and to improve my work. I´ll be happy to read your -and other´s- comments and suggestions in future pages and when I publish back my previous FMA doujins (if you want to do it, of course). Thank you! :)
look forward to the next page
ReplyDeleteHAPPY TO HAVE YOU BACK!
ReplyDeletewhen will you post the next page ?
ReplyDeleteI have missed you... <3 <3 <3 -msmazzo
ReplyDeleteyou don't have to color it, it'll make progress a lil faster. Just to let you know. the color is great you can keep it up if you want.
ReplyDeleteWell I look forward to the next pages and I can already tell this is going to be very good. I have commented before but I don't think you got it.
ReplyDeleteAnyways I look forward to more from you
~LunaLei
Really fucking smoldering hot here, whew. YOU BEAST YOU. I really love Winry's resurfacing fierceness when she confronts Edward about his dirty talking. I'm going to suggest that, while her glittering eyes look amazing--that since the light in the room is a golden yellow, that the highlights in her eyes would be as well, to meld with the atmosphere of her work station. Again, get some more practice drawing mouths and tongues, and kissing, still awkward here. Also, the blood red color for tongues is too dark? I'd go for a more natural, pinkish tongue color. Watch your anatomy in the bottom right panel--Edward's arm looks like its bent mid-forearm. Eye-through-the-hair thing is awkward here, too.
ReplyDeleteLol, I know I'm weighing the critique on here thick with these comments, but I hope they aren't putting you out xD It's a labor of love on my part, so I hope if anything they wind up helping you out in the end.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, I said you in your first comment on the cover page, I really appreciate when some one takes the time to leave constructive criticism, it helps me a lot to check details I may have missed (or noticed too late to correct), and to improve my work. I´ll be happy to read your -and other´s- comments and suggestions in future pages and when I publish back my previous FMA doujins (if you want to do it, of course).
DeleteThank you! :)